RJ Mitte Will Present at the 2019 Palme d’Visage Awards, Signaling That The Upside Will Win Most Condescending
Matt Damon, Master of Diversity, Hails RJ Mitte’s Commitment to Avoiding Discussion About The Upside‘s Discriminatory Casting Practices and His Unstinting Support for the Status Quo That Blocks Disabled Actors From Competing for Roles
(Battlecreek, MI) NoVariety announced today that RJ Mitte will present the inaugural “RJ Mitte Award for Most Half-Assed Casting in a Film Depicting a Disabled Character.” Emma Stone will portray RJ Mitte at the March awards ceremony in beautiful downtown Switzerland now that Jennifer Lawrence, who had been a lock, became uncastable after a recent injury left her with difficulty walking.
“I can’t imagine a situation where I’d tell Bryan — who’s been like a father to me — that, while I know he cares about me and wants to help me, I can’t let him use that as an excuse for a business decision that hurts others.”
Mitte has been vocal on social media about his support of Bryan Cranston’s casting in The Upside. “Disability stories need to be told and films like this wouldn’t be made without a star like Bryan Cranston. Conflicting messages about inclusion that reach as many people as we can are how we change mindsets and remove the stigmas around disabilities. As a disabled actor, I am proud of his performance in The Upside and I can’t wait to see Emma Stone’s portrayal of me presenting him with the award.”
He went on to say to scold show business colleagues Maysoon Zaid and Minnie Driver who have criticized Cranston’s casting, “I can’t imagine a situation where I’d tell Bryan — who’s been like a father to me — that, while I know he cares about me and wants to help me, I can’t let him use that as an excuse for a business decision that hurts others.”
Mitte is suddenly a hot property in Hollywood. In addition to landing the prestigious presenter role at the Palme d’Visage awards, a project based on his life has just been greenlit by none other than Matt Damon, who will also play the role of Young Mitte.
East Clintwood is directing and and has brought Hillary Swank on to play Old Mitte. Clintwood was rumored to be unhappy with the original screenplay, Champion of Breakfasts: The Story of RJ Mitte, and has made extensive changes, including a new title, Christ, I’d Kill Myself If I Had to Live Like That: The Life and Exceeding Hard Times of RJ Mitte.
Mitte himself has landed the film’s pivotal role of “Background wheelchair, staring longingly at boys playing basketball.”
Ryan Gosling will be Mitte’s body-double and provide the audio commentary on what it’s like to be RJ Mitte.
In March 2019, in beautiful downtown Switzerland — the Alps of the louge of suicide, home of the valley of the shadow of dignity, where the hills aren’t really all that alive — the FuckAbility™ Research Council will present its coveted Palme d’Visage award for the most condescending portrayal of disability in film.