deathstyles of the rich & abled, end-of-life merch, male-pattern bs
Author: Ingrid Tischer
Mortha Stewart Is Serving Up Romance In Philip Nitschke’s Sarco Death Pod
deathstyles of the rich & abled, end-of-life merch, male-pattern bs
“All I had left to do was reposition my newly lifeless rival in the Sarco Death Pod (now available in Careless Whisper Red) as if she were a peaceful brisket nestled in a crock-pot, and it was set-it-and-forget-it time while plausible deniability downloaded into my beloved’s shattered consciousness.”
mortha’s dark forces jan/feb 2023
a rage room of one’s own
Today I’m going to teach you how Philip Nitschke’s wonderful Sarco Death Pod can remove a love rival from your life without leaving a hole that anyone will notice. There are people you so look forward to sending to hell and I want to share with you how I achieved one of my most very special triumphs. It’s a love letter, straight from my heart.
A project like this always starts in my rage room, where I do all my planning and keep all of my tools neatly organized. My favorite tool by far for eliminating the unwanted is Philip Nitschke’s Sarco Death Pod. A true multi-tasker, the Sarco can go from ending a life, to storing the body, to being server-ware that you’re proud to display your loved one in at the viewing.
I trust that the dying process inside the Sarco Death Pod is not only painless but euphoric because it’s still-animate creator, Philip Nitschke, says that it is. He knows because there is not a single negative review on Yelp from people who have used the Sarco Death Pod. Not one person has complained that their Sarco didn’t cause them to die by asphyxiation in around five minutes. Give or take a few last moments that – fingers crossed! – weren’t the mother of all nightmares in your oxygen-deprived consciousness. But you’ll look peaceful on the outside!
Continue reading
Low-Residency Relationship Expert Hunter Girley Brown Answers Your Questions About Fear and Loathing in the Boudoir: BS in the Key of Masculine Reasonableness
Dear H
unter Girley Brown, Why does my fiance’s voice sound reasonable even when he’s saying stupid shit? Signed, Male-Pattern BS
Dear Male-Pattern BS,
I was shacked up pretty tight with Gail Farrell and Dick Dale [← Play me!] outside Amarillo testing Clinique moisturizers on armadillos in the vicinity, shooting the empty bottles and waiting to see if there were any noticeable decreases in fine lines and wrinkles, refreshing myself periodically with a scant paper-bagful of Super-Hold AquaNet. A couple hours, maybe three weeks later the results were in and yeah those poor bastards were slow-roasted. A reminder to all not to baste your test-lizards in emollient-rich beauty products outside during the hotter months.
And Now a Brief Word from Josephine, the Scar That Runs All the Way Down My Back
Hey! Here in the back. ScarJo here. I’m FED UP with the lack of respect, okay?
Look, I’m a long, faintly pink line that starts just the above the shoulder blades and ends above the ass-crack. Yeah I’m real sorry about offending your delicate sensibilities. I moved in when my landlady was about 13 and had had a spinal fusion cause her scoliosis was out. of. control. Whereas I held things together.
I was a lot more colorful in those days. A lot more sensitive. Cut nerves I can handle though. But I’m supposed to accept I’m shameful? I’m not exactly blaming my landlady, who was a teenager at the time, for trying to find bathing suits and a prom dress that would hide as much of me as possible. She was a new driver still looking for an unmarked exit off the Bullshit Highway.
“Would you prefer unblemished and dead?”
Remember, all I am is a pink line, with the tiniest smidge of a ridge, on a person’s back. We’re not talking about a sucking chest wound. Or pus. Or whatever’s wrong with Steve Bannon’s complexion. I’m not asking to be a big deal, I’m not asking for attention, for cripes sakes. It’d just be nice to get out and get some freaking fresh air once in a while, you know?
But nooooooo, I’m a SCAR and I must be hidden. Continue reading
We Can’t Hold Our Breath Until Philips Respironics Takes Real Action On Its Recalled Equipment
Join Our National Call To Repair Or Replace Recalled Breathing Devices
Individuals who depend on recalled ventilators and other breathing devices manufactured by Philips Respironics have joined in a letter, along with over two dozen disability organizations, demanding that Philips repair or replace the devices. The recall was announced in June, stating that the devices were found to release potentially harmful particles and gasses, but offering little information and no timeline for corrective action.
I’m among the affected individuals and have been part of a small group of users organizing a response with the support of the New York Law School and its Civil Rights and Disability Justice Clinic. “Respiratory equipment is not like a car that’s faulty. You can stop driving the car, but you can’t just postpone breathing. So we were given a really ridiculous thing that they called a choice, which was use it or don’t,” I told The Verge.
Update: Philips announced a repair and replacement program for one of their recalled models, the DreamStation, on September 1, 2021.
Take Action
- If you are affected by the recall and want to sign on to this open letter and/or speak to the media, complete this short form.
- Share this letter with your friends and family, elected representatives, and any media outlets who may not be aware of the recall.
- If you use social media, share your experiences with hashtag #SuckYouPhilips.
This is a graphic illustration by Haley Brown with a bright cobalt blue background. There are black lungs filled with dark gray puffy clouds. In the left lung is a yellow canary bird with a red eye in a mid-flight attack pose. In the right lung there is a red circle. Around the lungs there is clear white tubing that is entwined. Above this graphic the white text reads: #SuckYouPhilips
The full text of the group’s press release follows. Continue reading
Tales From the Crip 