Mortha Stewart Is Serving Up Romance In Philip Nitschke’s Sarco Death Pod


deathstyles of the rich & abled, end-of-life merch, male-pattern bs

“All I had left to do was reposition my newly lifeless rival in the Sarco Death Pod (now available in Careless Whisper Red) as if she were a peaceful brisket nestled in a crock-pot, and it was set-it-and-forget-it time while plausible deniability downloaded into my beloved’s shattered consciousness.”
A parody cover of Martha Stewart Living magazine called Martha Stewart Dying. Please scroll all the way down for the full alt-text description of this image.

mortha’s dark forces                                                            jan/feb 2023

a rage room of one’s own

Martha Stewart smiling and sitting at a cluttered craft desk surrounded by materialsToday I’m going to teach you how Philip Nitschke’s wonderful Sarco Death Pod can remove a love rival from your life without leaving a hole that anyone will notice. There are people you so look forward to sending to hell and I want to share with you how I achieved one of my most very special triumphs. It’s a love letter, straight from my heart.
A project like this always starts in my rage room, where I do all my planning and keep all of my tools neatly organized. My favorite tool by far for eliminating the unwanted is Philip Nitschke’s Sarco Death Pod. A true multi-tasker, the Sarco can go from ending a life, to storing the body, to being server-ware that you’re proud to display your loved one in at the viewing.
I trust that the dying process inside the Sarco Death Pod is not only painless but euphoric because it’s still-animate creator, Philip Nitschke, says that it is. He knows because there is not a single negative review on Yelp from people who have used the Sarco Death Pod. Not one person has complained that their Sarco didn’t cause them to die by asphyxiation in around five minutes. Give or take a few last moments that – fingers crossed! – weren’t the mother of all nightmares in your oxygen-deprived consciousness. But you’ll look peaceful on the outside!
Continue reading

The NotPeople Magazine Cluelessest Man Alive Interview: Harper’s Rick MacArthur Gets Notpersonal With Janky Wheelchair About John Hockenberry, Disability, and #MeToo

"WE'RE NOT THAT SMART!" Katie Roiphe Begs Her Many Reader to Believe She's Not Colluding With John Hockenberry to Destroy Harper's; NotPeople; "Special" Crossover Issue With THE SIT-DOWN's Janky Wheelchair; Cluelessest Man Alive! RICK "NOT THE GENIUS" MACARTHUR; CRIPSPLAINS HOW WHEELCHAIRS PREVENT SEX HARASSMENT AND WHY DISABILITY + #METOO IS HI-LAR-I-OUS'; © 2018 talesfromthecrip.org

Photo courtesy Spectator

He strides into the cafe we’ve agreed to meet at. Leggy, silver-tressed, with creamy skin lightly dusted with freckles, Harper’s president and publisher Rick MacArthur is a knock-out at 62 even in the rumpled khakis that glide over his still-boyish hips. When he collapses into a chair, he lays a Trapper Keeper on the table, murmuring that it’s ten times better than that [bleeped] phone nonsense.

Announcing that this is his cheat day — “I learned recently this referred to food!” — he peruses the menu — “This menu’s paper quality is fantastic, isn’t it?” — before ordering a green juice, bananas Foster, and a double Scotch. He asks me when the guy who’s doing the interview is going to show. He is adorable. He asks again, using the words, “Chop chop.” He’s everything this interview said he’d be.

I’m still mesmerized by how stunning Rick MacArthur is, in person. The Author’s Guild photos don’t do him justice. I ask who dressed him for our interview and he gazes at me with fathomless confusion before laying his fingertips lightly on his shirt-front and saying, “I should know this! He’s worked for our family since before I was born. He’s going to be so mad at me. Not that he’ll ever express it.”


As the long-awaited second installment of Tales From the Crip’s series, Imaginary Interviews With People Who We Wish Were Imaginary, our new FuckAbility™ Research Council‘s Crip Carpet Correspondent, Janky Wheelchair, follows up on TryHarder™ Magazine’s recent take-down of John Hockenberry’s journaling essay, “Exile,” by devoting an entire episode of THE SIT-DOWN to publisher of the essay, Harper’s Rick MacArthur.

Photo of a janky wheelchair and text: The FuckAbility TM Research Council Presents The Sit-Down Hosted By Janky Wheelchair Copyright 2018 talesfromthecrip.org

Janky Wheelchair portrait courtesy of hiveminer.com/User/klickertrigger

The vivacious magnate talks nonstop about why paraplegics can’t sexually harass anyone; why he, a Francophile, is launching a Moi Aussi men’s movement to counter Me Too’s “Soviet-style” excesses; why paper is the future of Harper’s; and how everyone forgets how great John Hockenberry was in the film Coming Home. Keep reading for the unedited transcript of Janky Wheelchair’s exclusive hard-hitting interview with lively minx Rick MacArthur.

Flambee your bananas and keep the Scotch flowing because Harper’s RICK MACARTHUR is gracing the cover of NotPeople magazine as the CLUELESSEST MAN ALIVE! 


Continue reading

And Now a Word From the FuckAbility™ Research Council on Top Chef, Season 15, Episodes 5 and 6

In Which the FuckAbility™ Research Council DisRespectfully Suggests Tom Colicchio Was High When He Allowed a Cooking Challenge to be Held at 7,500 Feet Above Sea Level Given That One Cheftestant Was Pregnant and Two Others Were Using C-PAPs

Please pack your ableism and go

(The Height of Ignorance, CO)  In a shocking twist, a pregnant woman and two men who don’t breathe great found this week’s battle to be a literally uphill one when they were dumped on a friggin’ mountaintop site where Lando Calrissian is planning to break ground for his Cloud City Diner. The guest judge, Ivan Denisovich Shukhov, announced the week’s challenge: Make a truly memorable dish for your own memorial service.

And — as every *real* chef should be able to do — pitch a tent in deep snow, walk around in the snow, endure freezing temperatures for over 24 hours, and manipulate sharp implements with exposed hands.

it’s even money at this point whether top chef knows that the “chilling effect” of asinine workplace practices and attitudes on women and disabled workers won’t be corrected with a thermostat.

With all due dis-respect to restaurant kitchen tradition and gulags everywhere, fuck that noise. Just because Leann still won episode 5 doesn’t make it acceptable that she had to forfeit the rest of the competition in episode 6. Seriously, she’s a fucking powerhouse and you fucked with the career trajectory of a hard-working woman chef of color. Yeah, she knew what the challenge was and, yeah, it was her pregnancy. So? That’s quite a fucking choice for her, isn’t it?

Continue reading

HEY! YOU! MEDIA! Top 5 Notes to Anderson Cooper Regarding His 60 Minutes Hit Piece That I Shot B-Roll For Once Upon a Time When It Was Going To Be About the ADA’s 25th

60 Minutes Came to the Bay Area, birthplace of the Independent Living movement — a largely unknown chapter of US civil rights history — for footage for a piece about the 25th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
They filmed me, moving about the Ed Roberts Campus (ERC), where I work at Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (DREDF), an ERC founding partner.
They filmed other members of the cross-disability community.
And they used that footage to undermine and dishonor the law that made me — a woman with a disability — a full citizen in 1990.
60 Minutes came to OUR house, used us, and told the world people with disabilities are either dupes, greedy, or both.

Top 5 Notes to Anderson Cooper Regarding His 60 Minutes Hit Piece That I Shot B-Roll For Once Upon a Time When It Was Going To Be About the ADA’s 25th

Segment also provides excellent instruction in “How to add insult to injury” by failing to caption its online streaming video

1. If an access violation is so obvious it can be found through Google’s aerial view, then, yeah, I expect a business owner to be able to find it.

Continue reading