Author: Ingrid Tischer
Mr Ableism Proposes to Dispose of Miss Cripple Using the Sarco Death Pod
deathstyles of the rich & abled, MALE-PATTERN BS, REGENCY CRIP LIT
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a neurodegenerative disease must be in want of an early death.
My dear Miss Cripple,
Mr Abled’s proposal so enraged her that she could only reply, “You first, sir” when he presented her with a Sarco Death Pod of betrothal.
Madam, in vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I pity you and plead you to accept my assistance in hastening your death using the Sarco Death Pod on its Delicates & Gentlewomen setting.
In declaring myself thus, I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the notion of a healthcare system that prioritizes people over profit, the rights of many people with disabilities, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment.
But, as you may have heard, “civil rights” for unfortunates such as yourself are now largely reserved for your demise. Particularly when a gentleman such as your father has five daughters and only a small income. How may such as he afford to see your sisters wed if you and your costly care refuse to be dead? Continue reading
Crips Are Dying to Save You Money With Easy Weeknight Euthanasia Policy
deathstyles of the rich & abled, end-of-life merch
AS SEEN ON NOT DEAD YET! [Editor’s Note: The article below does cut off abruptly. While it’s true that we couldn’t afford the editing to help it continue, this in no way implies that the cut-off was anything but the article’s choice to avoid the indignity of ending “like that.”]
Image Description: An excerpt from one of Cost Illustrated’s articles: “Easy Weeknight Euthanasia Policy With Pomegranate and Baked Meats.” This is a satirical article about how ableist public policy and the Sarco work together. It spoofs the real magazine’s test-kitchen narrative style and format.
I Want Them to Want Me Because I Will Need Them to Need Me But If That’s Not Going to Work, I Want a Lawyer.
Every time Gretchen saw the DNR forms on her desk at home, a wave of resentment rose. How did she know what it was like to use a feeding tube? Or a ventilator? Or have minimal brain function, for god’s sake? It was like asking an eight year-old to sign up for – or against – puberty.
Choice was such bullshit. It wasn’t really her choice at all. The problem wasn’t too much extraordinary medical treatment, it was the limits of ordinary medicine to worry about, mostly financial. She didn’t have a problem being kept alive through artificial means now – she’d never seen a dollar bill push out of the dirt in spring – so she didn’t see any reason to assume she would resent it later on.
“Dear Valued Healthcare Provider,
“I’m glad everybody’s so concerned about honoring my choices. I choose to have my medical care continue regardless of ability to pay or insurance coverage, deductibles, prescription benefits, or other cost issues….”
Continue reading
Useless Eaters Don’t Get Stuck Between Life and Death With the Dysoon Void 3000 Vacuum. But Is It Better Than the Sarco Death Pod?
deathstyles of the rich & abled, end-of-life merch, male-pattern bs
Tales From the Crip 